The Mother Load


Monday, May 01, 2006

Wild Weekend W(r)evelations

Yet another busy weekend for the Gautreaux crew. Filled with Tiger Cub outings, family functions, and loads of laundry. What better way to get through the weekend than to come up with more w(r)evelations.

W(r)evelation #1: Your child is a reflection of yourself. In other words, I need to stop losing my temper, so my Hunter Bunter can have a peaceful childhood and not grow up to be an angry, bitter man who will taunt his wife and children.

Solution #1: Breathe In & Out and sing Mary Poppins' "Just a Spoonful of Sugar"
It's harder than you think.

Result #1: I've memorized the song and came up with my own rap. (I'll share later)

W(r)evelation #2: Child stomping feet in department store draws attention and possible call to social services if you threaten them.

Solution #2: Oh, what the heck, if you can't beat them, join them and have them continously stomp for 10 minutes with you.

Result #2: He cries and you cry. Sometimes it just helps to cry and no one will call social services on you, but they may call a psychiatrist.

W(r)evelation #3: There are some hillbilly/rednecks in the world and your child may be one of them.

Solution #3: Just accept him for who he is.

Result #3: Maybe he'll become another Jeff Foxworthy or Larry, The Cable Guy and make loads of money, so mom & dad can retire early and live in a camper of luxury.

1 Your Load:

Blogger Heth said...

Funny, funny, and funny.

7:47 PM  

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